Do you Know your Pathology and Route to Freedom?

 Greetings my gentle readers to another week's installment of the "Be Yourself, Often" blog at www.joelwlamoure.com . This is the time where we can sit back with our favorite pieces of company [warm drink, soft pet or other] and step back from the milieu of the week that was. Too often, we do not take the appropriate steps and moments of peacefulness and tranquility and rush through each thing in order to get to the next.

Along the concepts of hope we appreciate that there are at least four dimensions that we need to explore in order to achieve optimal hope. The first is holistic health, second is outcome driven objectives, third is the fact that everything we do is personalized and the final aspect is that of empowerment. Bar too often we go through life as if feeling that we are a victim. I have touched on this theme multiple times through this blog. However, being a victim creates its own sets of psychopathology and ruts that individuals tend to get comfortable in. Life is perceived as unfair, unjust, and that an individual develops a learned helplessness [in fact almost a degree of institutionalization to the societal driven mechanisms that overwhelm us) to everything around.

But what of the individuals that tend to be the aggressors? What about individuals that are aggressors without even realizing it, constantly pushing ahead in their own agenda without realizing the impact on others? Too often, we are seeing a polarity of society where there are victims and there are aggressors. The individuals in the middle are left not knowing which way to turn and create a degree of un-empowerment, thus turning to one of the two poles. Certainly, we realize there are individuals that are aggressors and wish to be aggressors. They wish to control and overwhelm by their simple actions, decisions and often their narcissistic, grandiose delivery. Often, these individuals are egomaniacs with an inferiority complex and hurting others is the way that they achieve righteousness in the world. Somehow, I think it is even worse when these individuals label themselves as “inspired and enlightened" individuals. For in retrospect, these individuals are anything but. Now, it may be secondary to karmic energies and their past experiences, but that does not mean that an individual is not able to change.

We have the ability to help individuals that see themselves as victims, or see themselves as aggressors achieve a degree of enlightenment about their pathology. In the DSM-4-TR (in psychiatry speak), there are several types of personality disorders, which are delineated into three separate classes. The first is cluster a, the second is cluster B and the third is cluster C. Per wit, we label these three categories as "mad", "bad” and "sad". Really, we are seeing a disparity and conflict between the cluster B and cluster C categories. Cluster B are the individuals who are antisocial, borderline and narcissistic in presentation and delivery to a point where it becomes pathological. These individuals as such would see individuals with cluster C as easy "pray" because cluster C individuals are those who are fearful and needing of love and attention. In the world of psychiatry, we denote these individuals to be dependent personality disorders or obsessive-compulsive personality disorders.

As such, we see that it would be very likely that there creates conflicts between Mars and Venus, or cluster B and cluster C respectively. I believe, that it is made worse when we are not individuals that are in touch with our spirituality, but in touch with our societal driven objectives. Really, is it possible for an individual to change their stripes? Yes. I believe it is definitely possible through a combination of prayer, play and healthy living. A high degree of mental fortitude in order to realize exactly where an individual is and be comfortable with that individual in the mirror is a first place to start. Having the strength and willingness and insight to realize that there is something wrong will allow an individual to take the expressions of concern from another individual, rooted in love to be able to realize there is a problem. Love is an intelligent concern for others, and as such when an individual takes of their time and health and thoughts to be able to express a concern, that is love. True love is very rare, and unfortunately we do not realize it until it is either gone or damaged. I myself am guilty of this sin.

However, it does not mean that we cannot touch the spiritual side and appreciate really who we are. That is, that we are spiritual beings having a human existence. The gods are not crazy, and we have been placed on this earth in order to realize that there is more than what is sold on the 6 o'clock news, or the 14x 30-second commercials, which occur through the 6 o'clock news. It is information overload.

My gentle readers, look to those people who truly love you and say the things that are hats you do not want to hear. It is rooted in love and concern and the desire for you to be a stronger individual. Love is not mean. Love is not hateful. Love does not boast. Love does not make itself to be better than the other. Love does not use titles. Love is a simple expression of human kindness expressing an intelligent concern for others, that ultimately if we can touch the simplest things through prayer, play and seeing things through the lens as if we were a child again, then you may have a chance to be yourself, often.

~~~ Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure  April 2013

Living the Evidence-Informed Self: Those Silent Moments (Part 2)

Greetings my gentle readers to another week’s installment of the “Be Yourself, Often” blog. As always this is a time when we can sit and in quiet meditative mindful reflection look at the week that was and realize the impact of the decisions that we have made. As we touched on in our blog last week, too often people will assign blame to other people, and embrace as was stated by Eckhart Tolle as our “pain-body” and the role of victim, vs active participant in our life.

Unfortunately, this is often falsely convicting another party, which inherently will have to establish changes in boundaries, changes in verbal, as well as changes in non-verbal responses to that individual and similar situations in the future. This is your altar that is changing. You hurt, they hurt…everyone hurts.

Too often have you looked at somebody and made a preconceived notion or judgment about them? They look like a bum because they are not clean? They look smart because they wear glasses? They look like they have money or credible because they have clean designer clothes? Indeed, way too often this is done. Our evidence is filtered through an improper lens which causes not evidence informed decisions but rather emotional-based decisions. We will discuss evidence-based emotions next week.

However, going back to evidence informed that living. In being able to ground and connect with higher spirits through prayer, healthy diet, exercise and play then we can understand what is important to our spiritual connection. When we do not fill ourselves with the detritus of society and societal dictates or the man’s, we are more able to be free and make an appropriately informed decision. Per wet, we are not mere puppets of a Western culture.

Other clouds and filters that may impact on your ability to make a decision include unhealthy living or filling your life full of stuff that are not relevant to positive long-term objectives. They may be items, tangibles, ideas, beliefs or constructs. This may even include sacrificing your inner self and existing belief structures in order to be someone else, or by someone else’s objectives for you. At the end of the day, there is very little you in there. Across time, the whole organism that is YOU is bound to, in fact has to change with the constant onslaught of challenges. Welcome to the jaded world! SO emotionally driven and hormone mediated, while at the same time often not believing how much control you really HAD in the situation.

So in order to make an evidence informed decision, which will drive, a more positive, evidence informed life then we need to be at one with our spirit. We need to know our biases. We need to live a purpose driven life. There needs to be an awareness of our gifts and how they can translate into helping ourselves help ourselves help others. At this point, we can read the evidence and the impact as it occurs and understand how our subconscious has made the decisions that it has.

This is not a hard thing to do. It is about prayer, diet, healthy living, and play. There is indeed a balance rooted in a strong Spiritual foundation to build upon. It is about not assigning bias, nor blame and indeed assigning a healthy role to the moment. Life is not always a paranoid individual’s constant dream of conspiracies! There are players and victims, heroes and villains and a more open-minded approach and embracing the gestalt of the situation helps so much. It means, even when it is hard, that you might be not correct. Notice that the word “wrong” was not used.

How can this life be wrong or when there are so many miracles and gifts that exist within it? If we embrace our life as a gift in the present, rooted in mindfulness, then we should be able to truly be yourself, often.

~~~ Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure March 2013

Living the Evidence-Informed Self: Those Silent Moments (Part 1)

Greetings my gentle readers to another week's installment of the "Be Yourself, Often" blog. As always this is a time when we can sit and in quiet meditative mindful reflection look at the week that was and realize the impact of the decisions that we have made. For in order to achieve prescribing and dispensing of Spiritual HOPE, then we need to know our root belief systems. We need to be informed of the evidence that presents itself to us, and how we interpret that information through our five senses, but also our sixth sense, which is our very accurate extra sensory perception. As we know HOPE is an acronym that stands for holistic health, outcome driven objectives, personalized care and empowerment.

This week we will extend our thoughts from the root cause analysis discussion of last week and add in the filter of what we see and how we see it. This is a time of empowerment when we can actually in collaboration with our higher power and meditative moments; influence in a positive way our future. In the same way as individuals will go to school for 20 years to achieve an objective, why do we not have the ability, desire, passion and drive to take even a half hour from our day and achieve positive outcomes question how hard is it to enroll in the school of the spirit?

My gentle readers, you are already a student in the School of the Spirit, whether or not you realized this fact. This is potentially a very inspiring and liberating opportunity, or may be extremely scary depending on your perspective. What this means is you are able to achieve an open dialogue with your teacher, who is your higher power.

Unlike school, this Higher Power has the ability to create miracles. All of the colors, sounds, tastes, life and living you have the ability to link to this master. Having that realization will positively influence your ability to filter the evidence in front of you.

Although I have used the term “evidence” multiple times in this blog, what does it mean? Inherently, one is driven to thoughts of police drama television shows. Really, it is not much different than that. Evidence is everything that is all about you and around you. An open and inquiring mind then filters this information through the lens of their belief system.

Your belief system is how you determine if something [such as evidence] is relevant to this particular case. And really, is this case not your life? And to add even further thoughts regarding karmic energies, are these not implications on life and lives yet unlived? Always having a bad day? What is your role in it? How bad is it really? Do you could task your files?

All of this really comes down to the basic concept that if you believe something is or will be bad then it will be so. You are evaluating the evidence as it relates to the case of your life. Having the mental and spiritual fortitude to examine the evidence is a wonderful place to start! Live and love life in the way it is and has been designed, which is full of moments and miracles!

How can this life be wrong or when there are so many miracles and gifts that exist within it? If we embrace our life as a gift in the present, rooted in mindfulness, then we should be able to truly be yourself, often.


~~~ Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure   March 2013

Who Is Driving on this Trip?

Greetings my gentle readers to another week's installment of the "Be Yourself, Often" blog. This is the time of the week where we can step back, and curl up with a favorite warm beverage and/or or a loved one/animal (or both!)  and breathe a sigh of gratitude. A time when we can stop and look at the fingerprint that we imparted on the world, not often realizing the chaos theory and the subsequent ripples outward that our actions will have.

What we do, how we do it in the intent with which it is done often extend far beyond the act itself. Too often, we think about things as throwaway gestures, if we even think about them. However, even worse, we don't even spare a thought about what we do, what we say or the intent at that point in time. To me, that would indicate that what we do is either running on our subconscious or we do not even think regarding our actions. Ouch. I prefer to believe it is the former.

However, if our subconscious is driving our decisions in a direct linkage with Higher powers, it would serve us well to occasionally take stock of what we are doing and the outcomes it is having on our self and others. Albert Einstein stated, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result". It is the squeaky wheel that gets the grease, and as such the only actions that normally track our valuable time are those that are negative in nature. But how often, does the person or party that is causing the negative outcome your self?

To illustrate this further, how often in a discussion will somebody make a comment about dealing with a jerk? That individual who is "the jerk “ is never the person standing in front of you telling their sad and tragic story. They are never, EVER the ones telling the story. Funny, eh?

Too often, we hear the first world wines of people that portray themselves as tragic victims, and often they do not know or have a clue regarding true victimization, truly being second- or third-class citizens. They do not have the ability, or insight to realize exactly the amount the impact, pathos (root of pathetic) and tragedy that they have imparted into the situation. Because everything has run on subconscious, and it has been a throwaway gesture, then it is not their fault. It is an unfortunate and scary state of affairs in today's society to realize how few people take responsibility for their own actions. It is always "the jerk" that has caused the problem.

Too often in life, it is not about absolutes. In fact, that is a positive fact that we are so intertwined that together adds there is neither good nor evil, black or white existing in isolation on earth. Almost 100% of everything is a shade of gray. Certainly, there are exceptions at the opposite spectrums, but these are more usually associated with "beyond the earth" concepts. There is God, the embodiment of good, and Satan who represents the embodiment of negative from a biblical perspective. And if we were to consider this from a perspective of light, black is thought to be the absence of any light and white is thought to be radiant and positive light. Small changes in semiotics however change that outlook when we think about it from a perspective of colors.

Dark is color to its highest degree of intensity. It is all the colors scribbled together and dark. White is pure and absence of color, yet we KNOW not devoid of color as we assign the arbitrary word "white" to this color.

As we look at all of these factors from the perspective of the impact of what we do, then we must understand what drives our subconscious. In the same sort of way as we assign a word to a color, that word does not describe every aspect of a color. There are associations that we have assigned as a society to a color, right? White is pure and black is evil. It is all black and white. Seriously?

Does our subconscious do the same? I believe so. If we are not aware of the associations that we hold then we are not able to make a true evidence-informed decision. And to touch the concepts of evidence for living is to be able to understand ourselves and others and our role in the acts and actions that are performed in such a casual, indeed throwaway gesture driven society. Would you not rather know what sort of associations you carry? Are they positive or negative? Only you know. And is a combination of your past, history, genetics and experiences And to know your subconscious is to then be able to touch your belief structure, as well as understand the decisions that you make. At this point, you are able to know the root energy that is placed into the actions that you conduct.

At this point you will start to understand karmic energies moving ahead and truly be able to touch and be yourself, often.

~~~ Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure   March 2013

Enlightened Beings, Really?

Greetings my gentle readers to another week's installment of the "be yourself, often" blog and happy new month, welcome to March 2013. Hopefully, this is the time of the week when we can step back and appreciate exactly what we contributed to the components that added up to be the week that was. And when we stop and appreciate our involvement with people, places, things and all forms of nature hopefully the balance sheet of our contributions are on the side of the positive. This week's blog will go on a little longer then normal as it addresses several psychopathologies that present within the concept of “enlightenment” as we are seeing it develop in the Western world by and large.

As we know and have stated multiple times, prescribing spiritual hope operates under the premise that in some way we have not yet been able to achieve our full goals and objectives. But really, we cannot achieve these hopes and dreams if we do not know what we are even striving for. As such, knowledge of our goal of hope is essential. One cannot help but wonder as we evolve whether or not as stated by Monty Python whether or not the gods are truly crazy. Let us explore this concept through the lens and filter of H.O.P.E.

H stands for holistic health, where we are able to look at all aspects of our being and realize exactly what requires healing, without judgment. It is only at that point when an individual becomes an active participant in their healing through identification that appropriate steps and forms of treatment may be engaged. Per wit, this is the period of diagnostics. Once an accurate diagnosis has been made, only then can the appropriate methodology and treatment interventions be brought to bear. Really, it is along the theory and approach of knowing our enemy.

While there are many potential interventions that can be used, often they are ineffective or actually may worsen the individual’s clinical or psychiatric status if utilized in the wrong way. I believe we are seeing examples over and over of this in our "spiritual awakening". Without having a root understanding of spirituality there are so many that profess to being experts in this field. Often, it is an extension of the hunger and dissatisfaction that progresses in a society where so many are left feeling helpless. Given challenges and "fattening up", as well as having blinders affixed to the eyes through this Industrial age, we have been left spiritually bereft for so, so very long.

Now, add in a society and culture where individuals are used to, and in fact demand having everything handed to them or available at their fingertips. Sadly, we have been created a culture of sheeple, but ones that still have expectations and demands. I believe we can call these "first world whines". In true Freudian terminology, we have suppressed our most basic intellects at the cost of massive hyperinflation of our superego. Basically, we can get any color at any size at anywhere at the best cost, and have been more than assured that we [or rather our superego, which is affixed to our pocketbook] our first and foremost.

Once we look at the interface of vectors of these hyper-inflated egos, entitlement, narcissism, point of access to information and add in a hint of delusion regarding grandiosity, one can see there is not much room for true spirituality. True spirituality would mean that an individual is able to connect with their God [however they see their God [example Christianity]], while at the same time being able to embrace the differences and opinions of others and then use their God given gifts and talents to help advance other people.

Now it is not about helping advance other people while at the same time advancing your ego. It's not about sharing information and not learning it yourself. Those are the blinders coming back to bear on you. So really, are we truly becoming more enlightened? Or is there a generation of hypocrites that are developing? Is there truly an angry and confused generation evolving?

These are very interesting times looking at these last three questions. Certainly, the methodology that has been utilized over the past 100 years is no longer sustainable. New approaches, concepts and strategies must be employed. This is a time for peace, not war. As such, if we indeed are spiritual entities having a human existence then we should act as such. This is a critical time in our evolution to stop and reflect and learn. That learning is in the form of a diagnosis of the human race, but also a determination through spiritual social work of what are the goals of therapy.

Basically, if you want to be an enlightened soul, act like one. Believe like one. Study like one. Avoid the temptations of playing victim or engaging in hypocrisy. There was a wonderful expression I was told years ago, when I thought I knew everything that stated “Take the cotton from your ears and stick it in your mouth.” Once we do that, we can see the insanity that is evolving all around us. Wiser minds who look a all of the prevailing opinions as well as all of the evidence does not always prevail and in the sense of true entitlement sometimes the loudest entities in the interests of crusading get the most attention as well as the foot soldiers. This is a recipe for disaster and even potentially anarchy at a spiritual level, destruction of all, as we know.

This peace and enlightenment is not a hard object to strive for my gentle friends. It starts from within ourselves and an examination of what we believe in, our gifts and their talents, and the knowledge of what we are prepared to do. It is accepting the negatives and seeing how we can translate those into potential positives it is not boastful, nor being a victim. It is not taking up of arms nor justice of a vigilante approach. If we truly want that enlightenment, we need to look at that quiet and serene core that exists within us. That place where we are able to truly see that there are miracles that abound all about costs, and take them as the signs that they are, not any different than Noah was promised with the rainbow. This is a place where we can totally be at ease and thus avoid the dis-ease that exists within the disease that presents through the veil of society. It is a place for we can look with wide-eyed wonderment and the willingness to play us if a child again, including the wonderment of realizing the gifts that we have and the potential for positive outcomes. You don't need to be anyone else, or impress anyone else. Simply realizing that “I am as meant to be” is a very powerful message for us to learn and embrace.

For to recognize those positive outcomes and achieve peace and enlightenment, to be an enlightened individual is to truly be yourself, often.

~~~Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure   March 2013

Living the Dream or Dream to Live? (Pt1)

Greetings to another week's installment of the "be yourself, often" blog at www.joelwlamoure.com . This is a time of the week we connect you stop and step back and reflect on the moments that were in the moments that will be. This is a point in time that we will never get back again and so it is important that we look with mindfulness and reflection at the valuable increments that are sands through an hourglass.

This is the first of a two-part series. Although I have written about this before, I think given some of the discussions that have happened and transpired of late, it is important that we stop and look at what we do. Are we for sure getting our absolute all to the moments that are or are we deflecting for a future time that may or may not come? Are we stopping and being at one with the moment, or are we adversaries with the moment?

For the first week we will take a look at the living the dream question. I believe if we take a look at ourselves from a spiritual entity having a human existence than that becomes very clear. However, if we look at it from the converse, and we are merely humans than we may not feel the excitement, love and joy that transcends each and every moment.

First Peter chapter 3 verse four states, "rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. My gentle friends, we have the opportunity to be a gentle and quiet spirit, as opposed of and within the chaos that exists in the here and now.

We have the opportunity to assist us in a pool of isolation within the sea and tsunami that exists around us. This is our choice. We can truly live the dream, drink the margaritas and enjoy the surf, sea, sun and sand that a balance about us. That is truly living in the moment, living the dream.

So how do we do this in the busy life that we exist in? Does it have to be such? This is a choice that we have my friends taking a look at the free will covenant that exists within each and every one of us. We have the choice to embrace the insanity society or step back and truly be ourselves, at one with the moment.

As we find and become ourselves, we can realize that we are not alone. And our island of isolation is full of people similar like us. It is not about the commercials, magazines, celebrity worship that we have been sold. It does not have to be like this. Indeed, we can have the best life ever. It is about stepping back and looking at the healing parameters at each and every one of us has within us. So how do we unlock it?

That is about being comfortable with the moment. It is being at one, mindful with the tastes, touches, smells, sights and embrace them fully. It is about not caring what others think and about embracing our individual inner child. It does not have to be about worshiping others, but about finding and being ourselves.

And in order my gentle friends to live the dream we need to identify what is the outcome that we are looking for. What are our hopes, goals, dreams, and aspirations and how do you think that we can make them happen? Embracing the child within, not having a worry about being judged. Judge not, lest you judge thyself. And in order to realize what is important to us, we need to stop and reflect with mindful awareness of exactly what we are able to do. These gifts and transitions that we have, what we do for ourselves and for others, will truly ultimately identify and become and be yourself, often.

~~~Rev. Dr Joel Lamoure   February 2013

Groundhog Day and Karmic Batteries

Greetings my gentle readers to another week's installment of the "be yourself, often" blog. This is the time of the week when we can sit back and reflect on the moments that were, the moments that will be, in the days that we have to look forward to.

As we progress through time, it's a matter of taking a look at what inspires us what has inspired us, and what will inspire us. Today in North America is February 2, 2012. As we well know here, this is Groundhog Day. Groundhog Day is a day when we tend to look forward to spring, or determine number of weeks [8] that winter will continue upon us. In the famous movie,  “Groundhog Day", Bill Murray lives/exists experiencing Groundhog Day over and over again until he can actually get it right. What he is striving for is positivity, energy and love.

These are the days that we are living. It is a matter of us being able to ensure, that what we do, it's ultimately the best for what is. There are no second takes my friends, we have one chance in order to ensure that what we do in this moment that is and was in this life is done correctly. There are so many doubts and questions that we reflect upon in the course of our day. Often, we are left quivering and unsure as to whether or not our decisions that we make are indeed timely, sensitive, reflective, and accurate for the situation and situations that have transpired.

My gentle friends, it is ultimately our beliefs which drive our thoughts, and our thoughts which drive our actions, and at the end of the day our actions to drive our endpoints and results. If we want to ensure that are endpoints are positive, robust and directly proportionately positive for ourselves and those around us, we will ensure that our beliefs and our thoughts are positive in nature in pure.

It would be horrible if our thoughts and our actions were primarily or mainly negative in nature and as such we have to live these moments over and over again.  But if that happened? That is truly what we see born out in karmic energy. Karmic energy and the resultant batteries are a way that our negative thoughts and negative actions will come back and bite us in the arse over and over again across this lifetime and not surprisingly across the next life spans.

In order to ensure a positive now in the healthy energy supply, and a positive next life, we must derive a life that is positive in belief, positive interactions, rooted in Scripture, and rooted in healing positive.

As we progress forward, we exist within the free will covenant, as such our choices; our beliefs and their actions are centered in the ability to make a decision, rooted often in our beliefs. Groundhog Day does not have to be a day that we merely exist within over and over in order until we get it right, but an opportunity wherein we can make decisions accurately the first time, which are rooted in all critical factors: hope, faith and belief and all filtered through our actions which optimize this current life that we have. Indeed, we only have one life, one chance, and it is a matter of making this time matter. And this is a life and a gift, a present, truly a spiritual entity manifests as a human existence.

My gentle readers and friends, we truly do have a life altering choice. This choice is to wallow in what we have if it is negative, or we can make a decision, a conscious choice, in order to the optimize the NOW. That now is about paying it forward, translating small successes and leveraging them into bigger and more positive wins. This helps in now and helps the future.

Quite intriguingly, the best way in order to achieve and leverage these biggest and wins, is to intensely focus on the smallest miracles of the moment. The smallest miracle of the moments manifests themselves robustly and we seethe healthy selfishness of being a child.  Those terms are counterintuitive in a Western culture "healthy selfishness”. It basically means, that we need to look after ourselves first and foremost before we are able to help others.  It is a matter of not considering what others think, how you dress, what you do, how you play, or how you act. It is a matter of being right for you in the moment. It is being willing to be lighthearted, open-minded and willing to play.

It truly is about being at one with the moment, appreciating the smallest miracles of the moment. The smallest miracles of the moment can manifest themselves in sight, smell, sound, touch, and taste.  At the end of the day the smallest miracle ultimately reflect themselves along the paradigm that "man is the maker of straight lines". It is about being able and willing to color outside the lines, look at the contraries and shapes of the leaf, or appreciate the smell, belt witness, or curvature of a simple flower petal. This is a miracle my friends,  considering potentially exactly how much we can optimally translate, yet we don't, and yet how much that we could absorb, through simple play.

So in order to build the mindfulness of the moment and recharge your batteries, ensuring also our karmic batteries are charged to their fullest then lightheartedness, inspiration and play must seriously be considered and implemented. Sometimes my gentle friends, this is a matter of stepping back from the demands and challenges of society and truly finding and at full charge be yourself, often.

~~Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure    February 2013

Seeing a Person as a Whole

Greetings my gentle readers to this weeks installment of the “Be Yourself, Often” blog found at www.joelwlamoure.com. Sort of prep for out Tuesday at 9pm EST radio show on WULC entitled “Prescribing Spiritual H.O.P.E” which is on Spreaker (http://www.spreaker.com/show/tuesday_prescribing_spiritual_hope). These are the moments that we can really address the moments and the actions, both positive and negative that contribute to the week that was.  How did we impact based on the decisions and Belief structure that we have? Notice I didn’t say to do nothing, for that is an option that may be either positive or negative. It is a choice; still rooted in the person we are and ultimately will determine outcomes.

Last week we took a look at structural soundness and being able to an architect of what we do and how we deal with events that transpire.  This week I have had the wonderful opportunity through both clinical practice and teaching to have this theory looked at and challenged. The ultimate root cause analysis that I often speak of is so very different for everyone and not unlike the rockets blowing away from the shuttle when it exploded, once a vector starts, it often will Y away from the center of the event.

In order to truly help someone and working to make their structure more sound, we must ensure that there is buy in and collaboration. There is a bunch of insight and awareness, dialogue and listening that SHOULD take place, but sadly doesn’t. Far too often, people are so rooted on what they want or what they think should be the end point, but never stopping to realize that they are making the situation worse.

As we stop and address a situation, there may be a hesitation to engage, fear or other past or current events and ultimately end up “doing their job”, but never ever getting the true wins and satisfactions that elude them. And sadly, they become bitterer across time for that extra step is never taken and the opportunities are not handed to them. This is a disequilibrium centering on delusion, different belief structures, different values, and lack of communications and really seems so unfair! I mean, after all, they are focusing what is important from the general perspective. C’mon coach…let me in and give me a chance!

But either the player (and many times too the coach) end up in a stalemate. One of the two parties has forgotten what is important in this equation. In the differentials of assessing a patient, these are the small things, NOT the big general perspectives. That is merely the accepted level of average that too many people take and accept.

We often forget that we are the sum of our parts and that is what drives the diagnosis and the end general perspective.

A wise person told me this week that it only takes one smart detective to crack a case, but along the way a bunch of people that aren’t looking at details can trample all over your crime scene.  The detective is where they are because they have and are able to look at the small details.

So I believe in order to look at a person as a whole, we need to look at all their parts and ensure those parts are well oiled and dovetail well and all the cogs and teeth in place. THAT is what makes and generates wins and positive outcomes… for BOTH parties and not just one. It takes two to tango and an appreciation of the other person and what are their wishes, goals and what is ultimately important to them. At this point we can step back and see the psychosocial quantitative analysis that needs to be done. It isnt about the numbers at the end of the day, but it is about the person and THEIR goals and outcomes. Its not the dollars and cents, but the psychosocial rehabilitation and quality adjusted life years that we are able to optimize. This is what gains traction and derives satisfaction for the person and the giver.

But in order to do that, we need to listen and look at the structure, belief, spirit and gifts that both parties have. Maybe, just maybe we will be able to leverage that for a better outcome, which will define a better society. Not one based in money and stuff and commodities, but on based in mutual understanding and psych-social balance.

That my gentle friends are a time of healing and a time that they and you can be yourself, often.

                                    ~~~ Rev. Dr Joel Lamoure     January 2013