Do you Know your Pathology and Route to Freedom?

 Greetings my gentle readers to another week's installment of the "Be Yourself, Often" blog at www.joelwlamoure.com . This is the time where we can sit back with our favorite pieces of company [warm drink, soft pet or other] and step back from the milieu of the week that was. Too often, we do not take the appropriate steps and moments of peacefulness and tranquility and rush through each thing in order to get to the next.

Along the concepts of hope we appreciate that there are at least four dimensions that we need to explore in order to achieve optimal hope. The first is holistic health, second is outcome driven objectives, third is the fact that everything we do is personalized and the final aspect is that of empowerment. Bar too often we go through life as if feeling that we are a victim. I have touched on this theme multiple times through this blog. However, being a victim creates its own sets of psychopathology and ruts that individuals tend to get comfortable in. Life is perceived as unfair, unjust, and that an individual develops a learned helplessness [in fact almost a degree of institutionalization to the societal driven mechanisms that overwhelm us) to everything around.

But what of the individuals that tend to be the aggressors? What about individuals that are aggressors without even realizing it, constantly pushing ahead in their own agenda without realizing the impact on others? Too often, we are seeing a polarity of society where there are victims and there are aggressors. The individuals in the middle are left not knowing which way to turn and create a degree of un-empowerment, thus turning to one of the two poles. Certainly, we realize there are individuals that are aggressors and wish to be aggressors. They wish to control and overwhelm by their simple actions, decisions and often their narcissistic, grandiose delivery. Often, these individuals are egomaniacs with an inferiority complex and hurting others is the way that they achieve righteousness in the world. Somehow, I think it is even worse when these individuals label themselves as “inspired and enlightened" individuals. For in retrospect, these individuals are anything but. Now, it may be secondary to karmic energies and their past experiences, but that does not mean that an individual is not able to change.

We have the ability to help individuals that see themselves as victims, or see themselves as aggressors achieve a degree of enlightenment about their pathology. In the DSM-4-TR (in psychiatry speak), there are several types of personality disorders, which are delineated into three separate classes. The first is cluster a, the second is cluster B and the third is cluster C. Per wit, we label these three categories as "mad", "bad” and "sad". Really, we are seeing a disparity and conflict between the cluster B and cluster C categories. Cluster B are the individuals who are antisocial, borderline and narcissistic in presentation and delivery to a point where it becomes pathological. These individuals as such would see individuals with cluster C as easy "pray" because cluster C individuals are those who are fearful and needing of love and attention. In the world of psychiatry, we denote these individuals to be dependent personality disorders or obsessive-compulsive personality disorders.

As such, we see that it would be very likely that there creates conflicts between Mars and Venus, or cluster B and cluster C respectively. I believe, that it is made worse when we are not individuals that are in touch with our spirituality, but in touch with our societal driven objectives. Really, is it possible for an individual to change their stripes? Yes. I believe it is definitely possible through a combination of prayer, play and healthy living. A high degree of mental fortitude in order to realize exactly where an individual is and be comfortable with that individual in the mirror is a first place to start. Having the strength and willingness and insight to realize that there is something wrong will allow an individual to take the expressions of concern from another individual, rooted in love to be able to realize there is a problem. Love is an intelligent concern for others, and as such when an individual takes of their time and health and thoughts to be able to express a concern, that is love. True love is very rare, and unfortunately we do not realize it until it is either gone or damaged. I myself am guilty of this sin.

However, it does not mean that we cannot touch the spiritual side and appreciate really who we are. That is, that we are spiritual beings having a human existence. The gods are not crazy, and we have been placed on this earth in order to realize that there is more than what is sold on the 6 o'clock news, or the 14x 30-second commercials, which occur through the 6 o'clock news. It is information overload.

My gentle readers, look to those people who truly love you and say the things that are hats you do not want to hear. It is rooted in love and concern and the desire for you to be a stronger individual. Love is not mean. Love is not hateful. Love does not boast. Love does not make itself to be better than the other. Love does not use titles. Love is a simple expression of human kindness expressing an intelligent concern for others, that ultimately if we can touch the simplest things through prayer, play and seeing things through the lens as if we were a child again, then you may have a chance to be yourself, often.

~~~ Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure  April 2013

Rites of Passage

Greetings my gentle readers to another weeks installment of the “Be Yourself, Often” blog found at www.joelwlamoure.com. That time when we can step back on reflect on the moments that have been in the week that was and filter it through the learnings and goals for tomorrow. We do have the ability through our beliefs, which drive our thoughts and actions to make that tomorrow a better place. It is entirely a conscious decision.

In keeping with that thought process, we must consider that each day is a passage and indeed even more a rite of passage. There is so much more in the day than to simply wake up, survive and then go to bed. In a world where we have so much technology and things that are supposed to make our life easier and be more environmentally friendly, why then are we actually more stressed, have less time, making more copies and indeed…surviving?

There are certainly monumental tasks and moments in our lives that transition us along the game of life and advancing through the levels. They may include spiritual, religious or community/societal based transitions such as marriage, confirmation or a spiritual awakening. The ultimate bookends of this of course are the life and death of a person as a physical entity, but certainly not from a spiritual perspective.

If we consider that each moment and each day indeed are fraught with miracles in the moment, then in order to pass through levels and ultimately succeed (at a gaming perspective) at the next level we need items. What are those items and what shall we carry to the next level? These tools, trades and inspirations and insights will drive or success, or failure. Win or game over.

Happiness cannot be measured in stuff. Yes, it may make life easier but often comes at a non-tangible or related cost such as working. The rites of passage and successful completion of the days that are done include comfort and competence with the material that we have been tasked with at that particular level. So sad isnt it really that we aim FOR the next level, all the while forgetting the miracles in the moment that do define and make the level that we are in so intricate, indeed beautiful?

That beauty I feel is what drives happiness and is not rooted in religion, but rather being at-ease which is interfaced with spirituality to be able to see the invisible lines and shadows, and appreciate the learnings of the Fates that transcend our days. Aristotle stated that happiness is “The meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence”. That really means that the physical and the spiritual are in congruency, in perfect balance looking and balance the physical and the metaphysical.

Dr Wayne Dyer stated that “simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is not accurate. YOU make yourself unhappy”. And this is the crux of the matter and the rite of passage of maturity. This is the being at-ease that keeps away the dis-ease and per wit the disease that extends.

THAT comes from being at one with the moment and balancing play, peace, patience, silence, reflection, synchronicity and a willingness to learn and leverage the moments that are to advance to a better tomorrow. For really only then are we able to help others, once we have helped ourselves. It is ok to do or reflect or play.

To deny that connection with the inner child and spirit is to create conflict and prevent you from being yourself, often.

            ~~~ Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure   January 2013