Greetings my gentle
readers to another week's installment of the "Be Yourself, Often"
blog at www.joelwlamoure.com . This
is the time where we can sit back with our favorite pieces of company [warm
drink, soft pet or other] and step back from the milieu of the week that was.
Too often, we do not take the appropriate steps and moments of peacefulness and
tranquility and rush through each thing in order to get to the next.
Along the concepts of hope we appreciate that there are at
least four dimensions that we need to explore in order to achieve optimal hope.
The first is holistic health, second is outcome driven objectives, third is the
fact that everything we do is personalized and the final aspect is that of
empowerment. Bar too often we go through life as if feeling that we are a
victim. I have touched on this theme multiple times through this blog. However,
being a victim creates its own sets of psychopathology and ruts that
individuals tend to get comfortable in. Life is perceived as unfair, unjust,
and that an individual develops a learned helplessness [in fact almost a degree
of institutionalization to the societal driven mechanisms that overwhelm us) to
everything around.
But what of the individuals that tend to be the aggressors?
What about individuals that are aggressors without even realizing it,
constantly pushing ahead in their own agenda without realizing the impact on
others? Too often, we are seeing a polarity of society where there are victims
and there are aggressors. The individuals in the middle are left not knowing
which way to turn and create a degree of un-empowerment, thus turning to one of
the two poles. Certainly, we realize there are individuals that are aggressors
and wish to be aggressors. They wish to control and overwhelm by their simple
actions, decisions and often their narcissistic, grandiose delivery. Often,
these individuals are egomaniacs with an inferiority complex and hurting others
is the way that they achieve righteousness in the world. Somehow, I think it is
even worse when these individuals label themselves as “inspired and
enlightened" individuals. For in retrospect, these individuals are anything
but. Now, it may be secondary to karmic energies and their past experiences,
but that does not mean that an individual is not able to change.
We have the ability to help individuals that see themselves
as victims, or see themselves as aggressors achieve a degree of enlightenment
about their pathology. In the DSM-4-TR (in psychiatry speak), there are several
types of personality disorders, which are delineated into three separate
classes. The first is cluster a, the second is cluster B and the third is
cluster C. Per wit, we label these three categories as "mad",
"bad” and "sad". Really, we are seeing a disparity and conflict
between the cluster B and cluster C categories. Cluster B are the individuals
who are antisocial, borderline and narcissistic in presentation and delivery to
a point where it becomes pathological. These individuals as such would see
individuals with cluster C as easy "pray" because cluster C
individuals are those who are fearful and needing of love and attention. In the
world of psychiatry, we denote these individuals to be dependent personality
disorders or obsessive-compulsive personality disorders.
As such, we see that it would be very likely that there
creates conflicts between Mars and Venus, or cluster B and cluster C respectively.
I believe, that it is made worse when we are not individuals that are in touch
with our spirituality, but in touch with our societal driven objectives.
Really, is it possible for an individual to change their stripes? Yes. I
believe it is definitely possible through a combination of prayer, play and
healthy living. A high degree of mental fortitude in order to realize exactly
where an individual is and be comfortable with that individual in the mirror is
a first place to start. Having the strength and willingness and insight to
realize that there is something wrong will allow an individual to take the
expressions of concern from another individual, rooted in love to be able to
realize there is a problem. Love is an intelligent concern for others, and as
such when an individual takes of their time and health and thoughts to be able
to express a concern, that is love. True love is very rare, and unfortunately
we do not realize it until it is either gone or damaged. I myself am guilty of
this sin.
However, it does not mean that we cannot touch the spiritual
side and appreciate really who we are. That is, that we are spiritual beings
having a human existence. The gods are not crazy, and we have been placed on
this earth in order to realize that there is more than what is sold on the 6
o'clock news, or the 14x 30-second commercials, which occur through the 6
o'clock news. It is information overload.
My gentle readers, look to those people who truly love you
and say the things that are hats you do not want to hear. It is rooted in love
and concern and the desire for you to be a stronger individual. Love is not
mean. Love is not hateful. Love does not boast. Love does not make itself to be
better than the other. Love does not use titles. Love is a simple expression of
human kindness expressing an intelligent concern for others, that ultimately if
we can touch the simplest things through prayer, play and seeing things through
the lens as if we were a child again, then you may have a chance to be
yourself, often.
~~~ Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure
April 2013
