Seeing a Person as a Whole

Greetings my gentle readers to this weeks installment of the “Be Yourself, Often” blog found at www.joelwlamoure.com. Sort of prep for out Tuesday at 9pm EST radio show on WULC entitled “Prescribing Spiritual H.O.P.E” which is on Spreaker (http://www.spreaker.com/show/tuesday_prescribing_spiritual_hope). These are the moments that we can really address the moments and the actions, both positive and negative that contribute to the week that was.  How did we impact based on the decisions and Belief structure that we have? Notice I didn’t say to do nothing, for that is an option that may be either positive or negative. It is a choice; still rooted in the person we are and ultimately will determine outcomes.

Last week we took a look at structural soundness and being able to an architect of what we do and how we deal with events that transpire.  This week I have had the wonderful opportunity through both clinical practice and teaching to have this theory looked at and challenged. The ultimate root cause analysis that I often speak of is so very different for everyone and not unlike the rockets blowing away from the shuttle when it exploded, once a vector starts, it often will Y away from the center of the event.

In order to truly help someone and working to make their structure more sound, we must ensure that there is buy in and collaboration. There is a bunch of insight and awareness, dialogue and listening that SHOULD take place, but sadly doesn’t. Far too often, people are so rooted on what they want or what they think should be the end point, but never stopping to realize that they are making the situation worse.

As we stop and address a situation, there may be a hesitation to engage, fear or other past or current events and ultimately end up “doing their job”, but never ever getting the true wins and satisfactions that elude them. And sadly, they become bitterer across time for that extra step is never taken and the opportunities are not handed to them. This is a disequilibrium centering on delusion, different belief structures, different values, and lack of communications and really seems so unfair! I mean, after all, they are focusing what is important from the general perspective. C’mon coach…let me in and give me a chance!

But either the player (and many times too the coach) end up in a stalemate. One of the two parties has forgotten what is important in this equation. In the differentials of assessing a patient, these are the small things, NOT the big general perspectives. That is merely the accepted level of average that too many people take and accept.

We often forget that we are the sum of our parts and that is what drives the diagnosis and the end general perspective.

A wise person told me this week that it only takes one smart detective to crack a case, but along the way a bunch of people that aren’t looking at details can trample all over your crime scene.  The detective is where they are because they have and are able to look at the small details.

So I believe in order to look at a person as a whole, we need to look at all their parts and ensure those parts are well oiled and dovetail well and all the cogs and teeth in place. THAT is what makes and generates wins and positive outcomes… for BOTH parties and not just one. It takes two to tango and an appreciation of the other person and what are their wishes, goals and what is ultimately important to them. At this point we can step back and see the psychosocial quantitative analysis that needs to be done. It isnt about the numbers at the end of the day, but it is about the person and THEIR goals and outcomes. Its not the dollars and cents, but the psychosocial rehabilitation and quality adjusted life years that we are able to optimize. This is what gains traction and derives satisfaction for the person and the giver.

But in order to do that, we need to listen and look at the structure, belief, spirit and gifts that both parties have. Maybe, just maybe we will be able to leverage that for a better outcome, which will define a better society. Not one based in money and stuff and commodities, but on based in mutual understanding and psych-social balance.

That my gentle friends are a time of healing and a time that they and you can be yourself, often.

                                    ~~~ Rev. Dr Joel Lamoure     January 2013

Advancing the Curve through Structural Contracting

Greetings my gentle readers to another weeks installment of the “Be Yourself, Often” blog. That wonderful point of time in the weekend that we step back and consider with appreciation that we survived the week that was. That point as well if we wish through mindful reflection to assess what we did, how we did it and what were the outcomes, and indeed were they positive or negative? Were you perhaps indeed the architect of the outcomes and if not, could you become that structural contractor of your life?

We all I believe have the opportunities to look to the large through the proper leveraging of the small. One logistically cannot expect to be handed everything on a silver platter, yet too often that seems to be more and more prevalent. This I believe is an extension of the entitlement that is becoming more prevalent in the First World economies, even as the poor in the Third World become more poor. The famous Huey Long “Share the Wealth” speech of 1935 really has not changed much. At that point, 4% of Americans owned over 80% of the wealth. That figure really has only gotten worse across the past 80 years, and THAT was in a period of depression.

This inherently creates a huge incongruence and stress on the structure that is our lives. That then begets the question as to whether or not we shore up the structure and how can we do it? That will set us well in looking ahead to the winds and flames and darts that will come our way. They come for all, we cannot avoid but we can conceptually plan in order to protect the peace and feelings of being at-ease that we all value. For indeed, is it not in the desire to BE at-ease, for the converse is truly unpalatable, and that is the dis-ease that drives disease?

Through what we do and who we are, and a careful evaluation of our needs, friends and environment we can make a determination are we prone to snipers, fires, flood , famine, tsunamis or hurricanes? The world through its open media sensationalism and proclivities towards anonymous and face-to-face overt and covert bullying creates an idea of how we must protect ourselves.

In advancing the curve and being the architect of our new, reinforced structure that is our life (and indeed the actions we make define next lives), we are then and now presented with a dichotomy. Do we create a structure that returns the evil or kills the negatives with positives? Personally, being aware and able to step back and reflect on what is and being able to appreciate that even challenges happen for a reason allow us to reframe the situation. We do not have to lash out and attack in the absence of the evidence needed to answer the question. Rather a mindful reflection of the root cause and filtered through experiences often helps. Pollyanna-ish, I know… but often effective. Also almost always guarantees that one does not become a statistic on a government chart when the boomerang that you threw comes back and whacks you in the arse. Ouch… that hurts.

In order to achieve this, one needs a solid foundation rooted in belief, faith, hope and a strong dose of spirituality. Not religion, but a Belief in the Spirit and Higher Powers that guide us in times of challenge and times of positive.  Plus a network of similar minded friends and family, who you can discuss these ideas with. Not the name game and full of venom, but an opportunity to stop and reflect and assess. Remember those days? Being Pollyanna-ish and trusting and believing, although without the aspect of patience that comes with maturity? As a child we could help, heal and truly believe. We can and may touch those moments and skills again, making them even stronger and truly step into and be yourself, often.

                        ~~~ Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure    January 2013

Rites of Passage

Greetings my gentle readers to another weeks installment of the “Be Yourself, Often” blog found at www.joelwlamoure.com. That time when we can step back on reflect on the moments that have been in the week that was and filter it through the learnings and goals for tomorrow. We do have the ability through our beliefs, which drive our thoughts and actions to make that tomorrow a better place. It is entirely a conscious decision.

In keeping with that thought process, we must consider that each day is a passage and indeed even more a rite of passage. There is so much more in the day than to simply wake up, survive and then go to bed. In a world where we have so much technology and things that are supposed to make our life easier and be more environmentally friendly, why then are we actually more stressed, have less time, making more copies and indeed…surviving?

There are certainly monumental tasks and moments in our lives that transition us along the game of life and advancing through the levels. They may include spiritual, religious or community/societal based transitions such as marriage, confirmation or a spiritual awakening. The ultimate bookends of this of course are the life and death of a person as a physical entity, but certainly not from a spiritual perspective.

If we consider that each moment and each day indeed are fraught with miracles in the moment, then in order to pass through levels and ultimately succeed (at a gaming perspective) at the next level we need items. What are those items and what shall we carry to the next level? These tools, trades and inspirations and insights will drive or success, or failure. Win or game over.

Happiness cannot be measured in stuff. Yes, it may make life easier but often comes at a non-tangible or related cost such as working. The rites of passage and successful completion of the days that are done include comfort and competence with the material that we have been tasked with at that particular level. So sad isnt it really that we aim FOR the next level, all the while forgetting the miracles in the moment that do define and make the level that we are in so intricate, indeed beautiful?

That beauty I feel is what drives happiness and is not rooted in religion, but rather being at-ease which is interfaced with spirituality to be able to see the invisible lines and shadows, and appreciate the learnings of the Fates that transcend our days. Aristotle stated that happiness is “The meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence”. That really means that the physical and the spiritual are in congruency, in perfect balance looking and balance the physical and the metaphysical.

Dr Wayne Dyer stated that “simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is not accurate. YOU make yourself unhappy”. And this is the crux of the matter and the rite of passage of maturity. This is the being at-ease that keeps away the dis-ease and per wit the disease that extends.

THAT comes from being at one with the moment and balancing play, peace, patience, silence, reflection, synchronicity and a willingness to learn and leverage the moments that are to advance to a better tomorrow. For really only then are we able to help others, once we have helped ourselves. It is ok to do or reflect or play.

To deny that connection with the inner child and spirit is to create conflict and prevent you from being yourself, often.

            ~~~ Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure   January 2013                      

Is it Just?

Is It Just?

Greetings my gentle readers to another week and another time of reflections with the “Be Yourself, Often” blog at www.joelwlamoure.com . Frankly, a time when we can step back and give us allowance to truly be ourselves. To know that it is ok to be the persons and people that we are and reflect on the moments of the day and week that was in a mindful and meditative reflection.

Last week we started the “It Just Is” series and this week a question that we tend to ask ourselves and often causes a great degree of angst for so many people. Wondering if the events and situations that transpired were just and fair. Is it Just? No.

Interesting question as there is so much inequity and unfairness in the world. As a wise colleague brought up to me, how can one have the largest tower in the Western world and at the same time have the cries of loss and poverty all around? Those that are thin and starving in the very backyard and behind the gated communities of those that DO have it? Those that have it want it and keep it, no matter what is hurt and those that do want it try against the stream of the structure to advance and achieve. Also, does the ends satisfy the means and what is the actual endgame and even more intriguingly as to what is the root cause analysis behind the equation?

There are so many situations where there may not seem to be reciprocity, equity or fairness whether it be at work, family, friends or home.  Perhaps that may not be as we rarely if ever know the whole story or the whole storyline and tend to jump to and make very unfortunate decisions that are based in emotions rather than fact and foresight. After that, the plowshares turn to rattling of sabers and we all know where that goes. There is a “war on whatever”. And anytime there is a declared or undeclared act of war, there are losers and many of them. Often the same unfortunates that were in the backyard in the first place. Resentment grows.  Is it Just? No.

And with resentment comes the risk of not being at ease with the self which inherently will beget even more unease until eventually the poor soul wastes away in mind and body with the disease that came from dis-ease which came from un-ease. Is it Just? No.

Is it Just is a question only we can ask ourselves and only we can answer. It involves being aware and at ease with the situation that is. It is being aware that sometimes we leave “good enough” for something better only to realize that good enough exactly fit who we were and that the “better” was only an optical illusion. It is an act of self-deception and smoke and mirrors on the rolling blue marble that we call earth.

To ensure it is just, there are steps that we should exercise and that is not to make quick assumptions without all the fact and accept the expressions of love and gratitude there is. One can always find something that is not just if they look hard enough that validates thought process. That is a state akin to trying not to be at ease, and always arguing your point (correct or not) at any cost and ultimately actively striving for the dis-ease based on other belief systems outside the scope of the blog. For those, it never is just and my heart goes out to those as I (as have we all) have been there… not in pity, but the desire to push the human race forward. It is not a pleasant place to be and always the perception of being in a toxic situation, only leading to further toxicities and illness.

To ensure it is just, we need to come to the concept that it just is. That we are one and comfortable with the situations and the miracles that express themselves to us in the moment. That means that we need to look ahead to be here and in the here and now in a way that is mindful and reflective. Not to jump or make a hasty decision before all the facts are in. To learn and advance humanity through gentle play and discourse and healing. To be a kid at mind and heart and be open and receptive of all there is and not be a broken doll in the sandbox, but alive, healing, playing and bright eyed.

“Is it Just” not to be yourself? No. But expressing life in the moment by taking an active role allows it to BE Just and then it just is. And then there is ease; absence of disease and then you can be yourself, often.

~~~ Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure  December 2012

It Just Is...

Greetings my gentle readers and listeners to another week’s installment of the “Be Yourself, Often” blog.  Welcome to December 2012!!That time in the week when can look to the days that were with love and nostalgia, fear and apprehension and realize that we made it through the whole crazy thing whole. As usual, the reflections on this blog will be provided in my Tuesday night’s radio show on WULC entitled “Prescribing Spiritual H.O.P.E.”, which is live at 9pm Eastern Time and radio archived at http://www.spreaker.com/show/tuesday_prescribing_spiritual_hope

Through the course of the week as illustrated above there have been moments that were dichotomous in nature for all of us. From the thrill of victory to the agony of defeat, it just is. Those are three very powerful words that encapsulate so very much. When I heard the expression earlier, it resonated so intensely with myself as transcending far more than the simple planes that we know and in fact cross multiple theories and axis. So much in fact, there will be a three part series on this, with Christmas falling on a Tuesday, so the 4^th and 11^th will be on the trilogy and the 18^th will be my Christmas message. There will also be a special message I am hoping on December 21^st here and on the air simultaneously, just to help validate the fact we are all still alive on that date and now lets move ahead and help ourselves help each other and provide and ensure safe travels, which the message of unity will tie into the Christmas message. It Just Is.

It Just Is demonstrates the essential ideal perfection of everything. It helps and empowers an individual (if they can embrace this simple concept) that all situations that present themselves, are exactly that. The chance to do something, feel something or be something is exactly right for the situation. The individuals and situations that are on their own vectors inherently cross our vectors all of the time. If one stops and reflects in a mindful and meditative way through a filter and prism of positivity… that is absolutely mind blowing and liberating, all in the same time. As mentioned before however, there are too many “isms” out there and sadly, especially in December where people are so fixated on other aspects that this wonderful gift of healing and love and light may be missed.

My friends, this is truly root cause analysis embedded within the exercise of mindfulness. Why are things here and why did they cross my path and why do I need these learnings and why have I been chosen and what can I give to this situation and scenario? As with most things that are truly opening to the mind and heart and Spirit, this generates more questions than answers. Embrace that.

It Just Is will allow us to have quite a bit of freedom when embraced as it allows us to believe that through the topographical map of life, there will be hills and valleys, dryness and watershed, desert and lakes. Even that simple statement allows us to embrace the fact of our uniqueness. That uniqueness is also embedded in our genetic codes and the opportunities afforded to us. That uniqueness means we all have a very special gift and the next wonderful outcome driven goal is to find and embrace it and then share that gift to the betterment of others. For once a person engages in the embrace of giving away their gifts of the moment with the altruistic desire to educate and advance others… in the long run they themselves advance. Incredible isnt it? It Just Is.

To step away, embrace the moment and beginning to feel these insights means one may have to step away from the toxicity of the “isms”, of which narcissism and consumerism  are 2 powerful detractors. Express and find the whole person that you are, which often can be done by stepping back to be the wonderment of a child and being alive and having fun in the moment. Basically, to give yourself permission finally to be yourself, often.

                                    ~~~ Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure  December 2012

The Stone Suitcase: Balancing the Load

Greetings my gentle readers to this week’s installment of the “Be Yourself, Often” blog and the second installment of “The Stone Suitcase”. That wonderful point in the week when we can mindfully reflect on what we are becoming. A time to reflect on the choices that present themselves.

This week, building on the theory of remembrance, we will look at the approach of how to carry the load of our stone suitcases. It may be a temptation to jettison the baggage, for after all, are we not designed to be free spirited and free of will and thought and actions? To do so would mean that we are constantly as a babe and recall nothing and have no animosities, etc.

But there are certain things that we have evolved across. When we are young, we lament that we wish we were older and somewhere along the line, often in the 30’s we aspire for the opposite.  Why is that? There are the suitcases that we carry that encase the race and culture and history that we are and were.

Eckhart Tolle calls the negative component “The Pain-Body”, which I agree with. These are suitcases that are often not needed, carried as a martyr and drug out for all to see when in reality, most of it is sheer baggage and worthy of jettison, much less paraded in public display. The saddest part about that pain body is that individuals may not even recognize they are carrying it, or even worse use these exceptionally one-sided stories for pity and perceived victimization.  These are experiences of degeneration. There are some pain bodies though that may be useful to remember in the sense where the human entity itself is at some degree of risk, to allow us preventing it from happening again.

On the converse is what I would call the “Healing-Body” and these are aspects and suitcases that we have picked up through learnings across the days and years (and in fact ages!) that allow tips and tools to help and learn and heal. This may be similar to developing and advancing neuroplasticity and in fact healing along the line that we see in a younger individual. Their skin is good and their mind absorbs all of the learnings. This is a time of generation of positives and learnings. We develop language, skills, mediation, play and social interaction. All of these latter skills are becoming sadly more archaic with all the advents of Internet addiction and social media addiction, such as I wrote of the beginning of this year in the Canadian Journal of CME.

So… what to keep and what to jettison? Along and balanced with the suitcases are friends and advisers, mentors and healers, teachers and fellow students, family and loved ones that can help you sort through the positives and negatives. These wise sages DO have some wonderful positive stone suitcases that they have acquired over the years and in the spirit of education, which is a two way format of delivering information I believe, are able to help you help you. That being that they impart their wisdom and enable the carrier of the suitcases to open their minds beyond the tangible horizons they thought was possible. That may include Eastern medicines, Reiki, spirituality, different cultures, religions, languages, thoughts and ideas.

THIS is why we lament to be older when we are young. For that chance and responsibility and the learnings that the elders carry. The elders have imparted these to us and we ideally will advance these objectives through education and social discourse through a positive, mentoring modeling.