Seeing a Person as a Whole

Greetings my gentle readers to this weeks installment of the “Be Yourself, Often” blog found at www.joelwlamoure.com. Sort of prep for out Tuesday at 9pm EST radio show on WULC entitled “Prescribing Spiritual H.O.P.E” which is on Spreaker (http://www.spreaker.com/show/tuesday_prescribing_spiritual_hope). These are the moments that we can really address the moments and the actions, both positive and negative that contribute to the week that was.  How did we impact based on the decisions and Belief structure that we have? Notice I didn’t say to do nothing, for that is an option that may be either positive or negative. It is a choice; still rooted in the person we are and ultimately will determine outcomes.

Last week we took a look at structural soundness and being able to an architect of what we do and how we deal with events that transpire.  This week I have had the wonderful opportunity through both clinical practice and teaching to have this theory looked at and challenged. The ultimate root cause analysis that I often speak of is so very different for everyone and not unlike the rockets blowing away from the shuttle when it exploded, once a vector starts, it often will Y away from the center of the event.

In order to truly help someone and working to make their structure more sound, we must ensure that there is buy in and collaboration. There is a bunch of insight and awareness, dialogue and listening that SHOULD take place, but sadly doesn’t. Far too often, people are so rooted on what they want or what they think should be the end point, but never stopping to realize that they are making the situation worse.

As we stop and address a situation, there may be a hesitation to engage, fear or other past or current events and ultimately end up “doing their job”, but never ever getting the true wins and satisfactions that elude them. And sadly, they become bitterer across time for that extra step is never taken and the opportunities are not handed to them. This is a disequilibrium centering on delusion, different belief structures, different values, and lack of communications and really seems so unfair! I mean, after all, they are focusing what is important from the general perspective. C’mon coach…let me in and give me a chance!

But either the player (and many times too the coach) end up in a stalemate. One of the two parties has forgotten what is important in this equation. In the differentials of assessing a patient, these are the small things, NOT the big general perspectives. That is merely the accepted level of average that too many people take and accept.

We often forget that we are the sum of our parts and that is what drives the diagnosis and the end general perspective.

A wise person told me this week that it only takes one smart detective to crack a case, but along the way a bunch of people that aren’t looking at details can trample all over your crime scene.  The detective is where they are because they have and are able to look at the small details.

So I believe in order to look at a person as a whole, we need to look at all their parts and ensure those parts are well oiled and dovetail well and all the cogs and teeth in place. THAT is what makes and generates wins and positive outcomes… for BOTH parties and not just one. It takes two to tango and an appreciation of the other person and what are their wishes, goals and what is ultimately important to them. At this point we can step back and see the psychosocial quantitative analysis that needs to be done. It isnt about the numbers at the end of the day, but it is about the person and THEIR goals and outcomes. Its not the dollars and cents, but the psychosocial rehabilitation and quality adjusted life years that we are able to optimize. This is what gains traction and derives satisfaction for the person and the giver.

But in order to do that, we need to listen and look at the structure, belief, spirit and gifts that both parties have. Maybe, just maybe we will be able to leverage that for a better outcome, which will define a better society. Not one based in money and stuff and commodities, but on based in mutual understanding and psych-social balance.

That my gentle friends are a time of healing and a time that they and you can be yourself, often.

                                    ~~~ Rev. Dr Joel Lamoure     January 2013

Advancing the Curve through Structural Contracting

Greetings my gentle readers to another weeks installment of the “Be Yourself, Often” blog. That wonderful point of time in the weekend that we step back and consider with appreciation that we survived the week that was. That point as well if we wish through mindful reflection to assess what we did, how we did it and what were the outcomes, and indeed were they positive or negative? Were you perhaps indeed the architect of the outcomes and if not, could you become that structural contractor of your life?

We all I believe have the opportunities to look to the large through the proper leveraging of the small. One logistically cannot expect to be handed everything on a silver platter, yet too often that seems to be more and more prevalent. This I believe is an extension of the entitlement that is becoming more prevalent in the First World economies, even as the poor in the Third World become more poor. The famous Huey Long “Share the Wealth” speech of 1935 really has not changed much. At that point, 4% of Americans owned over 80% of the wealth. That figure really has only gotten worse across the past 80 years, and THAT was in a period of depression.

This inherently creates a huge incongruence and stress on the structure that is our lives. That then begets the question as to whether or not we shore up the structure and how can we do it? That will set us well in looking ahead to the winds and flames and darts that will come our way. They come for all, we cannot avoid but we can conceptually plan in order to protect the peace and feelings of being at-ease that we all value. For indeed, is it not in the desire to BE at-ease, for the converse is truly unpalatable, and that is the dis-ease that drives disease?

Through what we do and who we are, and a careful evaluation of our needs, friends and environment we can make a determination are we prone to snipers, fires, flood , famine, tsunamis or hurricanes? The world through its open media sensationalism and proclivities towards anonymous and face-to-face overt and covert bullying creates an idea of how we must protect ourselves.

In advancing the curve and being the architect of our new, reinforced structure that is our life (and indeed the actions we make define next lives), we are then and now presented with a dichotomy. Do we create a structure that returns the evil or kills the negatives with positives? Personally, being aware and able to step back and reflect on what is and being able to appreciate that even challenges happen for a reason allow us to reframe the situation. We do not have to lash out and attack in the absence of the evidence needed to answer the question. Rather a mindful reflection of the root cause and filtered through experiences often helps. Pollyanna-ish, I know… but often effective. Also almost always guarantees that one does not become a statistic on a government chart when the boomerang that you threw comes back and whacks you in the arse. Ouch… that hurts.

In order to achieve this, one needs a solid foundation rooted in belief, faith, hope and a strong dose of spirituality. Not religion, but a Belief in the Spirit and Higher Powers that guide us in times of challenge and times of positive.  Plus a network of similar minded friends and family, who you can discuss these ideas with. Not the name game and full of venom, but an opportunity to stop and reflect and assess. Remember those days? Being Pollyanna-ish and trusting and believing, although without the aspect of patience that comes with maturity? As a child we could help, heal and truly believe. We can and may touch those moments and skills again, making them even stronger and truly step into and be yourself, often.

                        ~~~ Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure    January 2013