Rites of Passage

Greetings my gentle readers to another weeks installment of the “Be Yourself, Often” blog found at www.joelwlamoure.com. That time when we can step back on reflect on the moments that have been in the week that was and filter it through the learnings and goals for tomorrow. We do have the ability through our beliefs, which drive our thoughts and actions to make that tomorrow a better place. It is entirely a conscious decision.

In keeping with that thought process, we must consider that each day is a passage and indeed even more a rite of passage. There is so much more in the day than to simply wake up, survive and then go to bed. In a world where we have so much technology and things that are supposed to make our life easier and be more environmentally friendly, why then are we actually more stressed, have less time, making more copies and indeed…surviving?

There are certainly monumental tasks and moments in our lives that transition us along the game of life and advancing through the levels. They may include spiritual, religious or community/societal based transitions such as marriage, confirmation or a spiritual awakening. The ultimate bookends of this of course are the life and death of a person as a physical entity, but certainly not from a spiritual perspective.

If we consider that each moment and each day indeed are fraught with miracles in the moment, then in order to pass through levels and ultimately succeed (at a gaming perspective) at the next level we need items. What are those items and what shall we carry to the next level? These tools, trades and inspirations and insights will drive or success, or failure. Win or game over.

Happiness cannot be measured in stuff. Yes, it may make life easier but often comes at a non-tangible or related cost such as working. The rites of passage and successful completion of the days that are done include comfort and competence with the material that we have been tasked with at that particular level. So sad isnt it really that we aim FOR the next level, all the while forgetting the miracles in the moment that do define and make the level that we are in so intricate, indeed beautiful?

That beauty I feel is what drives happiness and is not rooted in religion, but rather being at-ease which is interfaced with spirituality to be able to see the invisible lines and shadows, and appreciate the learnings of the Fates that transcend our days. Aristotle stated that happiness is “The meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence”. That really means that the physical and the spiritual are in congruency, in perfect balance looking and balance the physical and the metaphysical.

Dr Wayne Dyer stated that “simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is not accurate. YOU make yourself unhappy”. And this is the crux of the matter and the rite of passage of maturity. This is the being at-ease that keeps away the dis-ease and per wit the disease that extends.

THAT comes from being at one with the moment and balancing play, peace, patience, silence, reflection, synchronicity and a willingness to learn and leverage the moments that are to advance to a better tomorrow. For really only then are we able to help others, once we have helped ourselves. It is ok to do or reflect or play.

To deny that connection with the inner child and spirit is to create conflict and prevent you from being yourself, often.

            ~~~ Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure   January 2013                      

Dichotomies all in One

Greetings my gentle readers to a new year for the “Be Yourself, Often” blog at www.joelwlamoure.com. Sit and settle down and be willing to stop and reflect in a comfortable way, put your thinking cap on and wonder about the questions that permeate the universe, collaboratively looking to answers that will help advance the spirit and ultimately humanity. Welcome to 2013 and a year that if we chose to take up the flag and carry it high may be the first of many where we practice the exercise of paying things forward. That concept of helping others with the extras that we have in order to be able to make the world and our communities a better place to be.  If you have already failed in your New Years Resolution, it’s never to late and if you are succeeding, apply that knowledge to pick up a new skillset!

We all have skills and gifts, no matter how rich or poor that we are. That is one of the benefit of being human and despite the fact that society values certain gifts over another, that does not mean that one is any more or any less important at the end of the day. We should not allow our expectations to drive the end results of what we do, but rather by the actions, which are inherent in our belief system, we can see the benefits that transpire and ripple out in concentric circles.

Negatives as well spread (sadly in fact faster than success) and a negative belief system, fraught with first world whines is the most likely way to guarantee failure. Especially when coupled with a societal driven set of values versus being willing to accept the positives but also these negatives as learning opportunities. Learning opportunities are a positive that can be then translated into future positives. So instead of allowing the negatives to devour, one can reframe and stand back and reflect before passing the sea of poop downstream to the next unfortunate soul until you are immersed so deeply that it will be difficult to extricate. Aristotle stated that “We are as we always do”. But there is a possibility to reframe and readdress that belief system and thus what we do and change what we become. How? Positivity, learning from negativity and being critically aware (looking at the goods and bads) of our belief system and having the mental fortitude and emotional/spiritual maturity to change them as we want. It is possible for anyone to do that.

Lets pull these four thoughts together now shall we? These are 1) paying it forward, 2) we all have gifts and talents that are unique and 3) negatives beget negatives exponentially and finally 4) negatives can be reframed as positives. Lets filter these through the concept that knowledge is power and that knowledge can change our belief system.

We cannot be all things to all people at all times, which is a lesson personally to reflect upon. Instead of being always the teacher or student, it is good to reflect that we can actually (and are) be both. Basically, we just ARE ourselves. And that is OK.  That I found was an incredible and very liberating insight. That degree of awareness and reflection will prevent some of the naysayers and dark jabs in the night from allowing us to be at-ease with ourselves. Of course we suffer mentally and physically in this life with all of the dis-ease going around! It is our positive side and resilience and gifts that keep us trucking along! We cannot teach everything and be an expert in all and conversely we can wish to learn from those masters what we have the emotional strength and willingness to learn. What do we need to learn? Only you know but quiet reflections and listening to the Fates and the lines within the shadows shall help set you on a better vector. A colleague told me this week that “God draws in squiggly lines” and that is so true. There is not a clear path, but forests and swamps and dangerous animals to reach the gingerbread house.

Want to help yourself? Give of the gifts and that cup does refill and eventually, truly does runneth over with opportunity and wonder. To keep to yourself and hide your candle under a bush will most only result in loneliness and a bush set on fire, or burned fingers when the candle is too small. Or actually, any of the three options.

Sharing the knowledge and being aware and not so tight-arsed about things gives freedom and clarity so one can see what actually is in the cup. Self-appreciation and self-valuation will help you appreciate the value of what is in the cup and stepping away from first-world whines will give you the fortitude top use it. That is the beginning of spiritual development and the antithesis of negativity begetting negativity.

First step is to be ALIVE, be aware and practice being at-ease with the self, and that involves stepping back from the yuck of the day and going to the meditative and reflective place of play and regeneration.  We can be both past and present and indeed our past (good and bad) defines our present, which IS a gift. Once we start that we can realize be can be both adult and child, giver and receiver, teacher and student, healer and healing and start to be yourself, often.

           

                                                ~~~ Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure   January 2013

Reflections on the Year that Was

 Greetings to the end of the year, two thousand and twelve to my gentle readers at www.joelwlamoure.com as we take a step back and reflect on the days and months that were and those that came and went. I stand and salute in memory of my father, Wayne Lamoure (1948-2012), a man who knew what justice really was and stood for it daily.

A time for hope, faith and belief... these are critical elements and we must have Faith that there is a reason for everything and it is what we do with the events that transpire that determine the doors that subsequently open.

This was a year of marked highs and lows for all of us in so many aspects and facets of each of our lives. A time for peace, a time for battles and a time to step back and reflect on the lay of the land. Although the moments themselves traverse like sands of grains through the hourglass, we imperceptibly change and evolve to a point of where we are meant to be. But the changes at the time, with the exceptions of the ground shaking earthquakes in our lives we cannot even detect.

The year started with leaving inpatient psychiatry work with my most monumental earthquake came the period of July 9-10^th with the loss of my Father and to whom todays blog is dedicated. Subsequent changes in the second half were my being named to the UN, UNESCO as Canadian Section Chief of Medical Bioethics a month later and then another family death while the UNESCO was still in print. This followed closely after with the moments of stepping into my father’s role in early September in a CI role with the Forces. Who knows what this year will bring… besides a year of evolution and change? Belief in that.

A strong Belief that even when the chips are down (for we rarely stop and reflect as to why things are wonderful, but get the "poor me" when things are down) that "this too shall pass" and as opposed to cursing our beshitted lot and son of a bi-atch, I get the black marble in life and never the radiant crystal that it really IS for a reason. And most of all is Hope. Hope is the meshwork that channels it all together and is intricately intertwined with the other two.

  In advance of this New Years Day, 1/1/13, it is a time that many are making INCREDIBLE resolutions that will last, well... 1 week. Maybe 2. Sorry folks... most resolutions blow (and blow away). One, and only one wish that I hope to aim towards is to wait for facts and make informed decisions respective of the situation.

   In this week between Christmas an New Years, I have had the incredible good fortune reflect, consider, contemplate and assess the tapestry of the year that was.

  No my friends, I do not wear a tinfoil hat or drool in my porridge but look to these amazing miracles that exist on a day to day experience. They are there and just need someone to shut up and listen to the incredible stories of courage and strength. Amazing indeed. Believe it or not, in North America, India, and Europe etc. there are those still labeled and persecuted for their views. Not able to advance, not being able to live in their own skin, made to be ostracized for our protection. Going to sleep crying of hunger while others cry their ipad was the wrong colour. There is a problem here Houston. Hallelujah, pass the plate. Can you say we are saving the world through bullying? Not at all. Ive talked of bullying before and my advice, take the cotton out of your ears and shove it in your.... mouth. Then we can enact real change and see miracles that abound.

  To believe there are miracles, seeing is believing. "Show me the money!". Want a money shot? Let the scales fall from your eyes. Look as if from the wonderment of a child in actions, thoughts, visions and demeanor. This is what is lacking and yet these are there for your taking you know… and only thing holding you back, is well...a programmed you. 

  So instead…be yourself, often.

                           ~~~ Rev. Dr Joel Lamoure  December 2012

Gifts of magic wrapped in red satin sashes

Greetings my gentle readers to the final and Fourth Sunday of Advent as we head into Christmastime, 2012. As many of you may have noticed by now, there was Not, repeat was NOT an apocalypse that happened on Friday. The world did not end on December 21,2012 for the vast majority of people and just a gentle reminder you have 1 day left to get your loved ones (et moi) something if you give gifts.

This is that magical time when we can sit back and reflect not on the year that was (that’s next weeks blog), but on the sanities and insanities of the week that was and filter it through the retroscope and see what comes out. Generally and overall, these are days and moments where the positivity and enhanced days of enlightment can and shall unfold if we wish them to. The weaving of our beautiful tapestry is well under way and through Christmas we can add our red satin sashes as we look to a few of our most favourite things. A time for sharing, a time for love. A time for family, a time for enlightenment.

  Here is likely my last thought before Christmas and 1 more for 2012, which will be the reflection of the year that was. That day of reflection before we look ahead and if we have enough fortitude to learn from the goods and the bads that was and were and never shall be again. What is a gift and why is Christmas so stressful for so many people? Is it the family, gift buying, uncertainty of what to give, family, financial challenges pre and post, travel and all the music that says we should be happy or family?

  Simple answer is yes.

  We tend to lose ourselves in expectations in this time period. Expectations we put on ourselves, expectations society puts on us and expectations commercialism and family put on us. No wonder so many people get overwhelmed, depressed and even suicidal this time of year. Want to give yourself a gift this year? Step back and reflect on where you are, what you have and what spiritual and emotional and physical gifts that you have, for I guarantee that those will last across the decades if you pay them forward. Your health is a valuable gift to treasure that can be used for yourself and to pay forward to others. That iPad? Already declared obsolete, I hate to tell you. There was a study done that took a look at actions versus items and the meanings they had decades later. No surprise people remember the memories and trips and family. That is true for I remember my trip to Italy in 1987 and my trip to Europe in 2011 and Scandinavia last year, but couldn't tell you what my stereo system or family TV or really even my car looked like. Those are big ticket, agreed but we do remember the laughs and "war stories" that go along with an event...even occurring on a long drive or simply in your own backyard. It’s how I made it to Camp David in Maryland in fact... but that’s another story and one that puts a smile on my face as the other person in the car with me on that trip was lost to this world in 2012.  Family, good friends and close loved ones make the season bright, not just at the holiday period, but all year around. Remembering all the trips that were helps assuage some of the losses of the trips that were conceptualized but will never happen. Some of the best memories are happening right under your nose and the best of times in your own 4 walls or in your very own backyard, with people and loved ones that have a built in expiry date. To approach it that way is to help ensure there is no baggage, no resentments and every moment is a Present.

   Want to give the perfect gift... that’s the right colour, size and impact? It may have a cost (or not) associated with it to set up, but the commercial gifts definitely do. To buy board games and then invest the time to play them is priceless.  Give a happy memory to yourself and someone else and be good to yourself always. Its all about perspective and expectations my friends. Be a kid at heart and in mind and spirit and aim towards the play and gentle healings that come with them.

  To step back and make memories is a positive no matter what that can make you smile years later, and maybe make others smile as well as you be yourself, often

~~~ Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure December 2012

It Just Was

Greetings my gentle readers to this weeks installment of the “Be Yourself, Often” blog. That time that we can snuggle down with a form of comfort and reflect in the recesses of our mind the events that transpired over the week. There is chance to step back in a simplistic way and look at simpler times and be comfortable to embrace that. We need to be able to touch and embrace that innocence and Light again. Not by doing more, but by doing less and with love and passion, which will ultimately give us more depth and breadth to our lives.

The past 2 weeks we have looked at addressing the statements “It Just Is” and then last week looked at “Is it Just?” This week the realize the permanence of the fleeting moments that were and understand the fact “It Just Was”

In the moments of horror of the week that was and the subsequent loss of innocent life in the United States, we realize that there is a battle for our souls and us. A balance of good and evil and a constant interface between the two that is playing out in the here and now. When one is able to look through that filter, which is far beyond us, people, humans and indeed religions, we realize this is very humbling.  We are empowered in the moment and not sheeple or pacifists to whom we blindly accept anything that comes from and to us.  I offer no judgment as we do not know the exact situations that transpired but we have the ability to learn from the tragedy that just was versus frank judgments.

We can be, should be and are empowered to make decisions that when passed through our beliefs, thoughts and such ultimately will become actions. And in order to decide and know that it just was and indeed just and proper, we need to apply basic tenants of kindness, humility, love, light, passion and inspiration to advance the human entity into the sort of person that we truly are, created in Gods image. However, given the challenges and battleground that lies around us, we obviously must make choices to practice in our root entities, which is that of the White and Light and Good.

We have the opportunity and sanity within the insanity of life to make healthy choices moving ahead. To beat the struggle of dark and light. We can choose sanity or insanity to put it bluntly, not in the mental health individual context but a larger “pain body” as eloquently described by Eckhart Tolle.

We can remember the victims. We can sympathize with whatever hell the perpetrator was going through, while not condoning their actions. Condoning through a passive way is in part buying into the same hell they were and engaging in active or passive support through the media. We can refuse to bully. We can embrace the devastating effects of mental health disorders and the dis-ease within the disease.  We can stand together and embrace humanity, not insanity. We can step away and have the choice to turn off the televisions and not create further insanity. We can bond with loved ones and neighbors in a sense of unity.  Touching nature and the previously experience child-like attitudes and thoughts. We can do expressions of basic human kindness. These are our choices.

Because, once the moment passes, we realize it just was. Within that moment however, lives can be made or lost and no one has the power or should have the power to influence or decide what others could or should do. That comes from within our connections and us with our Higher selves. Do you want the moment that just was to be one of positivity or negativity? Herein lie the choices.

Within those moments that just were is a wonderful Power that is the Free Will Covenant and the ability to make informed decisions that help and optimize your physical and mental health and ultimately those around you. For we do not live in a vacuum and we all learn from each other. We are all teachers. We all have the ability to be inspirational through our actions since what we do ripples out in concentric circles and ultimately will impact on others.

For the moment the just was, captured as a snapshot in the photographic album that is the hard drive of our mind, we wish and want is to be fair, positive and just. A moment of healing and a potential for the time for peace. It does start with every one of us making that informed decision that will derive a more positive outcome. We can look and learn, avoid blame and understand we do not know fully the tapestry that is in the process of being woven.

I would rather collect pictures and photographs of moments of prayer, peace, happiness, laughter, love and embracing the moments of innocence and fun that also are associated with healing.  A wise friend told me that love is not complex, it is simple. We only make it complicated and that is so very true.

Close your eyes, open your heart and feel your heart open 10 fold and the love within it and be yourself, often.

~~~ Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure  December 2012 (Third Sunday of Advent)

Is it Just?

Is It Just?

Greetings my gentle readers to another week and another time of reflections with the “Be Yourself, Often” blog at www.joelwlamoure.com . Frankly, a time when we can step back and give us allowance to truly be ourselves. To know that it is ok to be the persons and people that we are and reflect on the moments of the day and week that was in a mindful and meditative reflection.

Last week we started the “It Just Is” series and this week a question that we tend to ask ourselves and often causes a great degree of angst for so many people. Wondering if the events and situations that transpired were just and fair. Is it Just? No.

Interesting question as there is so much inequity and unfairness in the world. As a wise colleague brought up to me, how can one have the largest tower in the Western world and at the same time have the cries of loss and poverty all around? Those that are thin and starving in the very backyard and behind the gated communities of those that DO have it? Those that have it want it and keep it, no matter what is hurt and those that do want it try against the stream of the structure to advance and achieve. Also, does the ends satisfy the means and what is the actual endgame and even more intriguingly as to what is the root cause analysis behind the equation?

There are so many situations where there may not seem to be reciprocity, equity or fairness whether it be at work, family, friends or home.  Perhaps that may not be as we rarely if ever know the whole story or the whole storyline and tend to jump to and make very unfortunate decisions that are based in emotions rather than fact and foresight. After that, the plowshares turn to rattling of sabers and we all know where that goes. There is a “war on whatever”. And anytime there is a declared or undeclared act of war, there are losers and many of them. Often the same unfortunates that were in the backyard in the first place. Resentment grows.  Is it Just? No.

And with resentment comes the risk of not being at ease with the self which inherently will beget even more unease until eventually the poor soul wastes away in mind and body with the disease that came from dis-ease which came from un-ease. Is it Just? No.

Is it Just is a question only we can ask ourselves and only we can answer. It involves being aware and at ease with the situation that is. It is being aware that sometimes we leave “good enough” for something better only to realize that good enough exactly fit who we were and that the “better” was only an optical illusion. It is an act of self-deception and smoke and mirrors on the rolling blue marble that we call earth.

To ensure it is just, there are steps that we should exercise and that is not to make quick assumptions without all the fact and accept the expressions of love and gratitude there is. One can always find something that is not just if they look hard enough that validates thought process. That is a state akin to trying not to be at ease, and always arguing your point (correct or not) at any cost and ultimately actively striving for the dis-ease based on other belief systems outside the scope of the blog. For those, it never is just and my heart goes out to those as I (as have we all) have been there… not in pity, but the desire to push the human race forward. It is not a pleasant place to be and always the perception of being in a toxic situation, only leading to further toxicities and illness.

To ensure it is just, we need to come to the concept that it just is. That we are one and comfortable with the situations and the miracles that express themselves to us in the moment. That means that we need to look ahead to be here and in the here and now in a way that is mindful and reflective. Not to jump or make a hasty decision before all the facts are in. To learn and advance humanity through gentle play and discourse and healing. To be a kid at mind and heart and be open and receptive of all there is and not be a broken doll in the sandbox, but alive, healing, playing and bright eyed.

“Is it Just” not to be yourself? No. But expressing life in the moment by taking an active role allows it to BE Just and then it just is. And then there is ease; absence of disease and then you can be yourself, often.

~~~ Rev. Dr. Joel Lamoure  December 2012