Seeing a Person as a Whole

Greetings my gentle readers to this weeks installment of the “Be Yourself, Often” blog found at www.joelwlamoure.com. Sort of prep for out Tuesday at 9pm EST radio show on WULC entitled “Prescribing Spiritual H.O.P.E” which is on Spreaker (http://www.spreaker.com/show/tuesday_prescribing_spiritual_hope). These are the moments that we can really address the moments and the actions, both positive and negative that contribute to the week that was.  How did we impact based on the decisions and Belief structure that we have? Notice I didn’t say to do nothing, for that is an option that may be either positive or negative. It is a choice; still rooted in the person we are and ultimately will determine outcomes.

Last week we took a look at structural soundness and being able to an architect of what we do and how we deal with events that transpire.  This week I have had the wonderful opportunity through both clinical practice and teaching to have this theory looked at and challenged. The ultimate root cause analysis that I often speak of is so very different for everyone and not unlike the rockets blowing away from the shuttle when it exploded, once a vector starts, it often will Y away from the center of the event.

In order to truly help someone and working to make their structure more sound, we must ensure that there is buy in and collaboration. There is a bunch of insight and awareness, dialogue and listening that SHOULD take place, but sadly doesn’t. Far too often, people are so rooted on what they want or what they think should be the end point, but never stopping to realize that they are making the situation worse.

As we stop and address a situation, there may be a hesitation to engage, fear or other past or current events and ultimately end up “doing their job”, but never ever getting the true wins and satisfactions that elude them. And sadly, they become bitterer across time for that extra step is never taken and the opportunities are not handed to them. This is a disequilibrium centering on delusion, different belief structures, different values, and lack of communications and really seems so unfair! I mean, after all, they are focusing what is important from the general perspective. C’mon coach…let me in and give me a chance!

But either the player (and many times too the coach) end up in a stalemate. One of the two parties has forgotten what is important in this equation. In the differentials of assessing a patient, these are the small things, NOT the big general perspectives. That is merely the accepted level of average that too many people take and accept.

We often forget that we are the sum of our parts and that is what drives the diagnosis and the end general perspective.

A wise person told me this week that it only takes one smart detective to crack a case, but along the way a bunch of people that aren’t looking at details can trample all over your crime scene.  The detective is where they are because they have and are able to look at the small details.

So I believe in order to look at a person as a whole, we need to look at all their parts and ensure those parts are well oiled and dovetail well and all the cogs and teeth in place. THAT is what makes and generates wins and positive outcomes… for BOTH parties and not just one. It takes two to tango and an appreciation of the other person and what are their wishes, goals and what is ultimately important to them. At this point we can step back and see the psychosocial quantitative analysis that needs to be done. It isnt about the numbers at the end of the day, but it is about the person and THEIR goals and outcomes. Its not the dollars and cents, but the psychosocial rehabilitation and quality adjusted life years that we are able to optimize. This is what gains traction and derives satisfaction for the person and the giver.

But in order to do that, we need to listen and look at the structure, belief, spirit and gifts that both parties have. Maybe, just maybe we will be able to leverage that for a better outcome, which will define a better society. Not one based in money and stuff and commodities, but on based in mutual understanding and psych-social balance.

That my gentle friends are a time of healing and a time that they and you can be yourself, often.

                                    ~~~ Rev. Dr Joel Lamoure     January 2013

Reflections on the Year that Was

 Greetings to the end of the year, two thousand and twelve to my gentle readers at www.joelwlamoure.com as we take a step back and reflect on the days and months that were and those that came and went. I stand and salute in memory of my father, Wayne Lamoure (1948-2012), a man who knew what justice really was and stood for it daily.

A time for hope, faith and belief... these are critical elements and we must have Faith that there is a reason for everything and it is what we do with the events that transpire that determine the doors that subsequently open.

This was a year of marked highs and lows for all of us in so many aspects and facets of each of our lives. A time for peace, a time for battles and a time to step back and reflect on the lay of the land. Although the moments themselves traverse like sands of grains through the hourglass, we imperceptibly change and evolve to a point of where we are meant to be. But the changes at the time, with the exceptions of the ground shaking earthquakes in our lives we cannot even detect.

The year started with leaving inpatient psychiatry work with my most monumental earthquake came the period of July 9-10^th with the loss of my Father and to whom todays blog is dedicated. Subsequent changes in the second half were my being named to the UN, UNESCO as Canadian Section Chief of Medical Bioethics a month later and then another family death while the UNESCO was still in print. This followed closely after with the moments of stepping into my father’s role in early September in a CI role with the Forces. Who knows what this year will bring… besides a year of evolution and change? Belief in that.

A strong Belief that even when the chips are down (for we rarely stop and reflect as to why things are wonderful, but get the "poor me" when things are down) that "this too shall pass" and as opposed to cursing our beshitted lot and son of a bi-atch, I get the black marble in life and never the radiant crystal that it really IS for a reason. And most of all is Hope. Hope is the meshwork that channels it all together and is intricately intertwined with the other two.

  In advance of this New Years Day, 1/1/13, it is a time that many are making INCREDIBLE resolutions that will last, well... 1 week. Maybe 2. Sorry folks... most resolutions blow (and blow away). One, and only one wish that I hope to aim towards is to wait for facts and make informed decisions respective of the situation.

   In this week between Christmas an New Years, I have had the incredible good fortune reflect, consider, contemplate and assess the tapestry of the year that was.

  No my friends, I do not wear a tinfoil hat or drool in my porridge but look to these amazing miracles that exist on a day to day experience. They are there and just need someone to shut up and listen to the incredible stories of courage and strength. Amazing indeed. Believe it or not, in North America, India, and Europe etc. there are those still labeled and persecuted for their views. Not able to advance, not being able to live in their own skin, made to be ostracized for our protection. Going to sleep crying of hunger while others cry their ipad was the wrong colour. There is a problem here Houston. Hallelujah, pass the plate. Can you say we are saving the world through bullying? Not at all. Ive talked of bullying before and my advice, take the cotton out of your ears and shove it in your.... mouth. Then we can enact real change and see miracles that abound.

  To believe there are miracles, seeing is believing. "Show me the money!". Want a money shot? Let the scales fall from your eyes. Look as if from the wonderment of a child in actions, thoughts, visions and demeanor. This is what is lacking and yet these are there for your taking you know… and only thing holding you back, is well...a programmed you. 

  So instead…be yourself, often.

                           ~~~ Rev. Dr Joel Lamoure  December 2012